Keep Your Mind Busy

I met Bubby in a used office furniture store in the valley, while I was helping a friend pick out a computer desk. He’s 83, and works part-time in the store - mainly to keep “my mind busy.” Born Berwyn, to the son of a Russian barber, he’s been called Bubby since he was 2-years-old in Chicago. After losing his business and then going through a divorce, Bubby moved to LA to find a “new lifestyle… which I found.” He also found another wife, who he’s been married to for 27 years. He’s now a grandfather, with three biological children and two step children. He loves his family, he loves to play tennis, and he loves to work. And he never wants to stop working – “I’m not in it strictly for the money. I like the idea of talking to people and meeting people.” So do I, Bubby.

Bubby, age 83.

The Red Hat Society

I was a little tired the day I was in the Farmer’s Market, but on my way out I saw these colorfully dressed women sitting at a table and I had to say Hi. You take a look at them and can’t help but smile. Big red hats, purple dresses, and loud laughter. They drove up to LA from Orange County and they’re a part of the Red Hat Society, a group of women over 50 whose sole purpose is to dress up in tacky clothing and go out and have fun together. Most of their advice was lighthearted but it wasn’t necessarily what they were saying that was so impactful. It was my realization that at any age you need friends. There’s something so important about surrounding yourself with a group who loves you. And, these women – married, divorced, and widowed – all know this. I love my friends and I love being around them. But as life gets busier and families start to grow, I know that we all tend to “nest” a bit more - and sometimes at the expense of our friends. As I’m getting ready to grow my family, I know that I can’t forget my friends. In fact, they’re a part of my family and I want it to stay that way. Maybe there should be a Red Hat Society for men… under 50. Who says I wouldn’t look great in a purple dress and a big red hat? I guess that’s what our grandfathers generation loved about having lodges. It was a way to keep a close bond with friends through your adulthood.

Of course for those of you women reading this who are 50 and over, you have a fun group waiting for you with open arms and oversized hats. Check them out online: www.redhatsociety.com

Marriage and Kids Advice

My friend, Jesse's parents were visiting LA and having lunch at the Farmer's Market on 3rd street. Married for 38 years I thought they'd be a good couple to film together and get their views on marriage and kids. They enjoy each other and it's obvious to see. When asked about kids, Hani said, "Don't be strict." It turns out he wasn't always so easy. Donna was the pushover. But, I wonder if that's what worked - having that balance. I'm told parents should be on the same page about discipline - especially so kids don't get mixed signals or play one parent off of another. If any of you who have raised kids have opinions, I'm curious to hear them (use the comment box just below this post).

Hani was born and raised in Egypt. He moved to Ohio 50 years ago, where Donna was raised her whole life. A salesman by trade, Hani is also a painter in his free time. At the end of the interview, Donna talked a little further about their marriage. She added, "We're old friends, too. We became friends, too. You can be lovers and then you can be friends. Friends is a really important piece of any marriage or any commitment... because love is, you know, great - but you have to be friends, too. You have to respect each other.

Donna and Hani, married for 38 years.