My Father-In-Law

Roy is funny. He's a writer - not a performer - yet when his public persona is on, it's like watching a stand-up comic. And, like a stand up comic, he's also full of fears. He's learned to cope with his fears by making jokes. I interviewed him in front of his pool - one in which he's never swam because he doesn't know how. "My Italian mother would yell 'Stay away from the water!' when we were kids. So, we stayed away."

Roy was an Artists Relations Manager in the music business. He was very successful and dealt with a ton of famous acts, though when music started leaning away from the jazz and mellower rock he loved, he stepped away from the industry. He always loved writing and he decided to pursue it. He had a lot of friends in the business and they tested him out as a writer on their shows. They liked what he did and soon he was writing episodes of The Love Boat. Then, he quickly moved up the ranks to head writer on The New Hollywood Squares. He went on to write for some other game shows, but when those shows came to an end so did Roy's TV writing. He was still talented, but he had never gotten an agent. He thought he didn't need one. And, so he struggled for the first time in a very long time.

Roy focused his energy on writing for national magazines, as well as plays - all comedies - and continues to do so to this day. He's gotten a few plays produced and is very involved with his theater company, Theater West, and the theater community at large.

Roy's the most brilliant "roaster" I've ever seen. For a Jew to admit that to an Italian is a tough thing. Whether rehearsed or not, his speeches never fail to put people in hysterics. At Carrie and my wedding he introduced himself as, "My name is Roy, and I'm a Catholic," and then proceeded to tell a fictional story about my Hasidic rabbi helping him to write the speech from inside of a strip club. Sure, getting laughs might be easier at a wedding or a birthday, but Roy can do it at funerals. At the memorial service for his best friend, Charlie - friends since they were kids in Mount Vernon, NY - Roy stood at the dais and said he'd like to speak about the Charlie he knew as a kid, "before he fell prey to the evils of the gay community." The mostly gay men at the funeral were falling off of their chairs in laughter and tears.

Roy's a creature of habit. He wakes up, eats the same cereal, does his chores around the house, has the same salad for lunch, and so on. But, as my mother-in-law, Carol has been struggling with breast cancer, Roy's been forced to step outside of his comfort zone. This requires facing some fears. After I interviewed him, Carol shouted out to Roy, "I really want to go to Pho for dinner," a Vietnamese restaurant where they have the healthier food she's been trying to eat. Roy looked at me and said, "Vietnamese? What am I going to eat there?" I said, "You'll have some soup." He replied, "That's a meal? Soup?" But then he turned towards Carol and shouted back, "I don't know what it is but we'll try it." Carol and I gasped. It took 75 years but he's ready to try something new.