Smile Openly and Warmly

I met Onnik on my way out of Le Pain Quotidien one morning. Onnik was born in Jerusalem, a Christian Armenian whose parents escaped the genocide in Armenia. He left Jerusalem as the wave of Jews were escaping their own genocide at the hands of the Nazis. He’s seen the faces of people who have had the worst kind of suffering.

It’s hard for me to approach strangers and ask them if they wouldn’t mind giving me advice on life… and can I film it for a website? If I’m not already in a natural conversation it’s a difficult thing to do “cold.” Sometimes I try to “cold read” people. And that’s what I did with Onnik. You can see in his body language that he’s an available participant in life. He likes to talk to people and he smiles openly and warmly. His wife of 47 years smiles politely and tautly, no wrinkles in the eyes as it’s forced. I spoke to her off camera – a nice woman, but one who needs to know people well before she lets her guard down and speaks comfortably. When I attempted to film her, she stiffly shook her head. Onnik on the other hand, gave me a smile which ran all the way up to his wrinkled eyes, and then he opened himself up to me. Once again, it’s not necessarily the advice that teaches me the most about people and how to live my own life. Like my last interview, I’ll probably soon forget what Onnik said to me. But I won’t forget his smile and the idea that it’s important to remain open and available to people, even when you’ve seen the worst that people can do.

Stay Busy

Rachel Miller, a friend and founder of Tom Sawyer Entertainment, asked me to go interview her grandfather, Albert who was in town from Chicago. A mostly-retired CPA, he lives part-time in Los Angeles so he can spend time with his grandkids. I drove over to his house right before Shabbat as he's more of a traditional Jew and he tries to keep the Sabbath with his family. But Shabbat seems to be the only traditional thing about Albert.

Eight years ago he saw an ad in the LA Weekly for “Senior Improv.” He checked it out and loved it. When he got back to Chicago he signed up for improvisation classes at IO, and now performs in retirement homes and on cruise ships. He’s also started teaching an improv comedy class for other seniors. He’s started a blog, joined Facebook, and runs a Men’s Club. And he’s 85-years-old. Almost every day of the week he is either teaching or learning. He retired from work but still keeps a couple of clients. He’s the president of his condo board. He’s studying writing. And he continues to run a club for couples on the weekends with his wife of 63 years.

Someone asked me if I remember any of the advice people give me. I said that I remember the good advice but it’s not necessarily about the actual advice. As time goes by, I won’t remember everything Albert said to me. But I will remember that he’s the kind of guy who doesn’t waste a day. He doesn’t let age stop him from continually learning and doing things. I imagine his wife, Ruth doesn’t either but I wouldn’t know for sure. He seems to do the talking for the two of them.

Albert:



Ruth and Albert:

How To Be a Boss

I've been pretty busy lately, working on a TV show Avi Rothman and I created for Starz. We're writing five episodes for them, with the hope they'll pick up the series. It's based on our original pilot, Partners. The experience in a writer's room has been amazing and we're working with a great team. The episodes are also coming out pretty damn funny.

Yet, no part of my job requires me to be well groomed. We sit around a table, work on the episodes together, and then do a lot of writing on our own. We snack incessantly. I've grown a bigger stomach than my wife who's 5 1/2 months pregnant. Good times.

But my 90-year-old neighbor, Abe cannot wrap his head around the idea that I never shave. One morning, I groggily got out of bed to walk the dog. I was exhausted, as I wrote until the early morning and hadn't gotten a lot of sleep. But, when Abe stopped me to let me know that I better quickly take a shave before I got to work, I had to get it on camera.

Abe, age 90.

Come to Vegas When You're a Lot Younger Than I Am

Sharon and her best friend, Karen have been friends for over 30 years. They had kids around the same time and their kids are also best friends. They both came to Vegas from Jefferson City, Missouri with their husbands... who they promptly ditched to spend the day together.

Sharon, age 66.

Life Advice Viewer Submission - #2

Matthew Cardarople shot a short film about his grandparents, focusing on his 92-year-old grandfather, Philip. A lover of baseball and a coach of a Depression-era baseball team, Matt's family treated Philip to a gift for his birthday -- a day at the Red Sox Fantasy Camp. It's my favorite moment in the film and a great tribute to someone Matt loved and respected (Philip passed away two weeks after getting to fulfill his dream of hitting a ball at Fenway Park). I suggest that any of you who still have your grandparents living, take advantage of the opportunity and ask them questions, take notes, or film the experience. It's an amazing thing to have when they're gone.

A clip from "The Old Boy":

A clip from Matthew Cardaroples documentary short, "The Old Boy". from matthew cardarople on Vimeo.

My 2nd Radio Interview... almost as bad as the first!

I got an email from Peter Anthony Holder, a talk-radio host from Montreal, Canada. He saw my blog written about on another site and asked if I could do a ten-minute interview with him for his internet show, The Stuph File Program. After working on air for CJAD for 20 years, he was fired. Rather than throwing in the towel, Peter went online and started his own talk radio show. He called me at home to talk to me about doing his program and then asked if we could speak through Skype, which is how he records his interviews. After my last interview on Canadian radio and my wife telling me that I didn't have enough energy, I might have overcompensated on this one. Luckily, I'm making all my mistakes in Canada where people don't know me. By the time I hit the air in America I might be such a polished interviewee that I can actually listen and answer questions.

Seth Menachem on The Stuph File Program (Peter Anthony Holder) - 11-2-09 by user81179

Peggy Sue's Daddy

En route to Vegas from LA with my wife and some friends, we stopped at a diner in a little town called Yermo, on Ghost Town Road. It was a few hours past most people’s dinner time and the restaurant was quiet. The booths were old and springy and it was kitschy as hell, but I loved it. The waitresses (this is not the kind of place to use the politically correct term, “servers”) were quick-witted, sweet as Southern tea, and a throwback to a different era. It’s an original 50’s diner which the actress Peggy Sue restored over 20 years ago and dubbed Peggy Sue’s 50’s Diner. My wife was excited because they had “fried pickles” on the menu. She loves pickles and the idea of them being battered and fried was almost too much for her pregnant mind to handle. Now that she’s tasted them, she looks for them everywhere we go.

Pop is Peggy’s Sue’s dad and he lives in a room behind the restaurant. The waitresses aren’t blood relatives but take care of him as if he were family. His details for the past are impeccable according to the women, but new memories don’t stick in his head. The waitresses laughed a little as Pop told me a story about his daughter, Peggy Sue. At first I thought they were laughing because it was cute how much he admired her. But I soon realized it was a different kind of a laugh. For the duration of our meal, Pop would interrupt us to ask the same question he had asked us a couple of minutes earlier. Then he would tell us about his daughter – the exact same story he had just repeated to us three times in a row. There’s something surreal about hearing someone repeat the same pieces of information over and over as if it were the first time they were saying it. You start to laugh but realize that the man speaking to you has no idea that he’s doing it. He believes he’s telling you a new story and the most respectful thing you can do is smile and pretend it’s the first time you’re hearing it. I notice I do this a lot with Abe, whose memory has also been failing him lately.

Pop comes in to the restaurant every single day at the exact same time. He sits down, has his pie and a coke brought to him, and tells the waitresses stories they have heard so many times it’s hard to believe they haven’t lost their own minds. But they are patient, caring, and like actors in a long-running play they find fresh ways to ask questions and listen in order to keep the show alive.

Take a Shave

I haven't shaved for four or five days - not uncommon for me. It's pretty rare for me to be clean shaven, unless an acting job requires it. These days I'm writing most of the time, anyway and I'm free to look as shlubby as I'd like. While walking the dog this morning, I passed Abe, who was on his stoop, reading the paper. We talked for a couple of minutes and he asked me to sit down. I said, "I can't. I have to get to work." He said, "And take a shave?" I said, "No, just get to work." He said, "And take a shave?" "No," I repeated. "No shave. Just go right to work." He took a beat and said, "America is a good country."

Simon's La Glatt

Shimon (or Simon) is married to Rochel (who goes by Kelly). He’s a quiet man who’s been married to Kelly for 43 years. As you might have seen in my last post, Kelly is not a shy woman. With one question, she and her cousin could have talked for an hour. I asked Shimon an hour of questions to get him to talk for a minute. I think the balance works for them as a couple. As soon as the guy was warmed up and ready to talk, Kelly jumped in and finished his sentence. With 43 years of marriage, seven kids, and a business they run together all day, they seem to be doing something right. I just get the feeling that even though their kosher restaurant is called Simon’s La Glatt, Kelly’s probably calling the shots.

The Moroccan Cousins

I did not expect two older Orthodox Jewish immigrants from Morocco to be so funny. When my friend asked me to come meet Kelly and Sarah I assumed they’d give me some humorless religious advice and send me on my way. Who knew Sarah, a great-grandmother, would be telling me that she’s sworn off sex as she’s already had enough of it in her lifetime? Kelly was such a character that when I interviewed her husband, Simon – also her partner in the kosher restaurant in LA, Simon’s La Glatt – she answered almost every question for him. The man could barely speak for himself. Avid gin players, I was really happy they let me interrupt their game for this interview: