I didn't want this great advice getting lost in the first part of the interview I did with Al Scaglione so I edited it out and saved it for another time. We all make mistakes and sometimes the hardest part of making a mistake is letting it go. Al is very upfront about his mistakes. He blames his lack of success as an actor on his inability to forgive himself for his mistakes. He held on to bitterness which further hindered his career. I've watched this video many times and it's one of the best pieces of advice anyone's given on this site. Rather than bore you with my rambling, I'll let Al speak for himself. Take the thirty seconds to learn something:
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Life Advice from Old People makes it into the ITV Fest!:
If you're in LA, please come support our first screening at the ITV Fest (itvfest.org). Click HERE to get your tickets.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Life Advice Viewer Submission - #4
My guest blogger, Chava Tombosky sent in another video from her grandfather's 90th birthday. This one's a hodge podge of advice from various friends. Oddly, the video ends with one of Chava's kids tap dancing. It's as if she had accidentally recorded over a family video. But knowing Chava she's just a proud mama who wants the world to see her kid dance.
Here's Chava:
My grandfather has always been the most loyal friend. Since he was in grammar school, he has literally kept those same friends in his life through adulthood. Over the years, many have passed away making him very emotional over losing his confidants, and close buddies to old age and illness. It has always been a huge source of inspiration to all of us grandkids that he was able to maintain the same relationships for so many years.
For the past 15 years, my grandfather has celebrated life by having huge grandoise birthday parties every five years. This year for his 90th birthday party, you couldn't help but notice the huge and drastic change to his once famously large party shrinking as a result of so many friends gone. What once used to be a roomful of 200 friends has dwindled down to 60. He has always said, that getting old for him was never hard physically. He doesn't take any pills. He is in great shape. He doesn't need a cane or a walker, and he has never felt better, but the saddest part of my grandfather's old age has been the fact that so many of his dear friends have died and he has outlived them all alone.
My grandparents moved to the desert after retirement to live in a beautiful area with a golf course so he could spend his golden years on the putting green surrounded by all his friends. Unfortunately, he stopped playing golf, because golf for him was a buddy's game. Without the buddies, it would never be the same. His friends have always had the greatest sense of humor and I know so much of his life has been enriched because of them. But most of them are gone now which has left him very sad and heartbroken. I would even venture to say that his old age has been a result of having great friends. I couldn't help but want to get a piece of yesterday's party on video history for the whole world to witness the last of my grandfather's friends who were able to come to the party. You'll notice they're a bit younger than him, a result of losing old friends is he had to make new ones, younger ones. These guys have the greatest sense of humor and a really wonderful take on life. It is truly an inspiration. Here's what they have to say about success, love, and happiness.....
Here's Chava:
My grandfather has always been the most loyal friend. Since he was in grammar school, he has literally kept those same friends in his life through adulthood. Over the years, many have passed away making him very emotional over losing his confidants, and close buddies to old age and illness. It has always been a huge source of inspiration to all of us grandkids that he was able to maintain the same relationships for so many years.
For the past 15 years, my grandfather has celebrated life by having huge grandoise birthday parties every five years. This year for his 90th birthday party, you couldn't help but notice the huge and drastic change to his once famously large party shrinking as a result of so many friends gone. What once used to be a roomful of 200 friends has dwindled down to 60. He has always said, that getting old for him was never hard physically. He doesn't take any pills. He is in great shape. He doesn't need a cane or a walker, and he has never felt better, but the saddest part of my grandfather's old age has been the fact that so many of his dear friends have died and he has outlived them all alone.
My grandparents moved to the desert after retirement to live in a beautiful area with a golf course so he could spend his golden years on the putting green surrounded by all his friends. Unfortunately, he stopped playing golf, because golf for him was a buddy's game. Without the buddies, it would never be the same. His friends have always had the greatest sense of humor and I know so much of his life has been enriched because of them. But most of them are gone now which has left him very sad and heartbroken. I would even venture to say that his old age has been a result of having great friends. I couldn't help but want to get a piece of yesterday's party on video history for the whole world to witness the last of my grandfather's friends who were able to come to the party. You'll notice they're a bit younger than him, a result of losing old friends is he had to make new ones, younger ones. These guys have the greatest sense of humor and a really wonderful take on life. It is truly an inspiration. Here's what they have to say about success, love, and happiness.....
Monday, July 12, 2010
Life Advice Viewer Submission - #3
Chava Tombosky is a writer with a blog called My Big Fat Jewish Life. She also happens to be a hot Hasidic Jewish chick... married to a rabbi. With three kids. So, don't even think about it.
Chava went to her grandfather's 90th birthday recently and of course I insisted she bring a camera with her. Chava's VERY Jewy, though so I'll translate a couple of words for the majority of you who have no idea what they're talking about in the video.
*Bashert (Yiddish) - Destiny; In this context it's being used as finding your soul mate.
*Mazel (Hebrew) - Luck.
*Zaidy (Yiddish) - Grandfather.
Now let me pass the reigns over to Chava:
Yesterday my Grandpa Ritchie turned 90 years old. He’s always been a virile and strikingly handsome man. His vanity has been a source of laughter and inspiration for all of us. So much so, that he never allowed us to call him “Zaidy” cause he thought it was entitled for old people, which he never considered himself to be. Which is why we all call him Papa, a much more youthful grandfather title, indeed. People often ask me, what’s it like to have a 90 year-old Grandfather who looks like Brad Pitt?
It takes Pop forever to get dressed in the morning, and not because he’s old, but because he spends so much time primping.
He smells as good as he looks. He’s bought so much stock in Jinate’ over the years, they’re paying him to wear the bath splash.
Like Brad Pitt, he has many children whose foreign non-native names are impossible to pronounce. Can you say Menachem Mendel, Alta Shula, Yehudis Chana, Chava Tziporah Chaya Feige, or Yosef Yitzchak? That’s okay, neither can he, which is why he usually refers to us as “dahling.” There are 7 billion people in this world, 3 billion of them are Pitt-Jolie’s the other 4 billion are Shallmans. (I’m the eldest child of 7- all from the same mother and father. So far there are 8 grandkids and counting- 5 are from my one younger brother alone.) And much like the actor, my grandfather doesn’t make a move without getting permission from his director. Just ask my grandmother. He’s been married to my grandmother, also a beauty for over sixty years.
There are a lot of great stories that come from this man full of personality. He’s always had this Godfather persona but without the New York accent. He was born in Boyle Heights in 1920 to a very poor family and decided he would never be needy or destitute on his own. By the time he was 16 he was making so much money selling newspapers and hocking anything else he could get his hands on, he was making himself custom made suits. We’ve always had a lot of respect for the fact that he became a self made man and he always shared his wealth taking charity very seriously towards Israel and Jewish education in a very gracious and generous way. But he expected us all to work hard and have serious careers. He expected us to go to college and figure out how we were going to support ourselves early on. So the day that I brought home a poor Yeshiva boy training to be a Rabbi who had yet to fulfill his path towards finding a lucrative career, to marry at the age of 19, was a day that he didn’t particularly like very much.
As my husband says, “Dating Chava was the easy part, it was dating Grandpa Ritchie that was hard.” For the next 5 months, every time my husband to-be would see my grandfather, my grandfather would be holding his routine vodka on the rocks with a swig of tonic stare Robbie down with a suspicious and intimidating glare and say “So son, what are you gonna DO?” And my husband would reply, “I’m not sure yet. But I’ll figure it out.” Not the right response for Papa Ritchie. I could tell my grandfather was holding it together for the sake of not rattling my very happy world. My grandmother kept herself close by his side each time Robbie was around practically pinning him down- keeping him in submission from leaping across the floor to beat the young Rabbi in-training into discovering a more lucrative path. (Or maybe to just beat him to a pulp just for being in the same vicinity as me.)
He even put my uncle on the job of sitting my fiancé down and grilling him for several hours on how he would support me. Robbie came through with flying colors of course, being that he was just as witty and smart and savvy as my grandfather the salesman. As my husband always says when asked how he got me to say yes to his marriage proposal, he replies, “What did you think I’m stupid? I got her at 19 before she found anyone else to compare me to- plus I’m a great salesman.”
My husband is a great salesman, but he is also the kindest person. He is loyal, loving, and is one of the greatest people I know in this world with the biggest heart. Who else would put up with raising almost all my teenage siblings over the last ten years?
So I was surprised to learn five years after we were married that my grandfather was more rattled over my marrying this sweet inexperienced Yeshiva boy more than I even realized. One night, my husband finally confessed, realizing that time had been on his side the real story of how my grandfather “coped” with our marriage. The night before our wedding, my grandfather approached my husband with this proposition- “Robbie, you’re a great kid. I really like you. But let’s face it, you got nothing. You make nothing. And you are nothing- well that is yet to be determined of course, but I’d like my granddaughter to marry a somebody, maybe marry you even one day, but just not tomorrow. I’d like to see her get married when she’s older and when you have a small oh I don’t know, PAYCHECK. So here’s the deal, I’ll give you $10,000 bucks if you leave tonight and never come back. My granddaughter will get over it. I’m sure of it, you’re not that memorable.” Feeling proud like he just made the easiest deal of his lifetime, my grandfather sat back sipped his vodka tonic and waited for the young lad to take his money and run. Little did he know my grandfather was dealing with just as smooth of an operator as he is, and my almost- husband replied, “Pop, how ‘bout we just consider the 10k my paycheck and go on with the wedding?”
My grandfather paused, he laughed and finally put his hand out to shake Robbie’s realizing he saw a little of himself in the young lad for the first time. “You’re not too bad kid, welcome to the family. I’m keeping the 10k though.” Then my husband to-be did the smartest thing he could ever do upon sealing the deal with the hardest bargainer he’d ever have to face. He asked my grandfather to give him advice on getting older. All you have to do to get on my grandfather’s good side is make him feel like “Charlie potatoes” as he calls it, chum it up, compliment him on his youthful looks, and you got him in the palm of your hand. At this point Robbie was feeling pretty confident that he had won the old man over. To which, my grandfather looked squarely in the eye of the young groom and said “Rob, you know why I look this good at 75? Cause I don’t get heart attacks, I give ‘em. Let that be a warning.”
Congratulations Pop! Here’s to another 90 years! (Although he’s already informed me that after 100,he’ll be done. “No one belongs living that long. You gotta leave on a high note.”)
Ritchie, age 90.
Chava went to her grandfather's 90th birthday recently and of course I insisted she bring a camera with her. Chava's VERY Jewy, though so I'll translate a couple of words for the majority of you who have no idea what they're talking about in the video.
*Bashert (Yiddish) - Destiny; In this context it's being used as finding your soul mate.
*Mazel (Hebrew) - Luck.
*Zaidy (Yiddish) - Grandfather.
Now let me pass the reigns over to Chava:
Yesterday my Grandpa Ritchie turned 90 years old. He’s always been a virile and strikingly handsome man. His vanity has been a source of laughter and inspiration for all of us. So much so, that he never allowed us to call him “Zaidy” cause he thought it was entitled for old people, which he never considered himself to be. Which is why we all call him Papa, a much more youthful grandfather title, indeed. People often ask me, what’s it like to have a 90 year-old Grandfather who looks like Brad Pitt?
It takes Pop forever to get dressed in the morning, and not because he’s old, but because he spends so much time primping.
He smells as good as he looks. He’s bought so much stock in Jinate’ over the years, they’re paying him to wear the bath splash.
Like Brad Pitt, he has many children whose foreign non-native names are impossible to pronounce. Can you say Menachem Mendel, Alta Shula, Yehudis Chana, Chava Tziporah Chaya Feige, or Yosef Yitzchak? That’s okay, neither can he, which is why he usually refers to us as “dahling.” There are 7 billion people in this world, 3 billion of them are Pitt-Jolie’s the other 4 billion are Shallmans. (I’m the eldest child of 7- all from the same mother and father. So far there are 8 grandkids and counting- 5 are from my one younger brother alone.) And much like the actor, my grandfather doesn’t make a move without getting permission from his director. Just ask my grandmother. He’s been married to my grandmother, also a beauty for over sixty years.
There are a lot of great stories that come from this man full of personality. He’s always had this Godfather persona but without the New York accent. He was born in Boyle Heights in 1920 to a very poor family and decided he would never be needy or destitute on his own. By the time he was 16 he was making so much money selling newspapers and hocking anything else he could get his hands on, he was making himself custom made suits. We’ve always had a lot of respect for the fact that he became a self made man and he always shared his wealth taking charity very seriously towards Israel and Jewish education in a very gracious and generous way. But he expected us all to work hard and have serious careers. He expected us to go to college and figure out how we were going to support ourselves early on. So the day that I brought home a poor Yeshiva boy training to be a Rabbi who had yet to fulfill his path towards finding a lucrative career, to marry at the age of 19, was a day that he didn’t particularly like very much.
As my husband says, “Dating Chava was the easy part, it was dating Grandpa Ritchie that was hard.” For the next 5 months, every time my husband to-be would see my grandfather, my grandfather would be holding his routine vodka on the rocks with a swig of tonic stare Robbie down with a suspicious and intimidating glare and say “So son, what are you gonna DO?” And my husband would reply, “I’m not sure yet. But I’ll figure it out.” Not the right response for Papa Ritchie. I could tell my grandfather was holding it together for the sake of not rattling my very happy world. My grandmother kept herself close by his side each time Robbie was around practically pinning him down- keeping him in submission from leaping across the floor to beat the young Rabbi in-training into discovering a more lucrative path. (Or maybe to just beat him to a pulp just for being in the same vicinity as me.)
He even put my uncle on the job of sitting my fiancé down and grilling him for several hours on how he would support me. Robbie came through with flying colors of course, being that he was just as witty and smart and savvy as my grandfather the salesman. As my husband always says when asked how he got me to say yes to his marriage proposal, he replies, “What did you think I’m stupid? I got her at 19 before she found anyone else to compare me to- plus I’m a great salesman.”
My husband is a great salesman, but he is also the kindest person. He is loyal, loving, and is one of the greatest people I know in this world with the biggest heart. Who else would put up with raising almost all my teenage siblings over the last ten years?
So I was surprised to learn five years after we were married that my grandfather was more rattled over my marrying this sweet inexperienced Yeshiva boy more than I even realized. One night, my husband finally confessed, realizing that time had been on his side the real story of how my grandfather “coped” with our marriage. The night before our wedding, my grandfather approached my husband with this proposition- “Robbie, you’re a great kid. I really like you. But let’s face it, you got nothing. You make nothing. And you are nothing- well that is yet to be determined of course, but I’d like my granddaughter to marry a somebody, maybe marry you even one day, but just not tomorrow. I’d like to see her get married when she’s older and when you have a small oh I don’t know, PAYCHECK. So here’s the deal, I’ll give you $10,000 bucks if you leave tonight and never come back. My granddaughter will get over it. I’m sure of it, you’re not that memorable.” Feeling proud like he just made the easiest deal of his lifetime, my grandfather sat back sipped his vodka tonic and waited for the young lad to take his money and run. Little did he know my grandfather was dealing with just as smooth of an operator as he is, and my almost- husband replied, “Pop, how ‘bout we just consider the 10k my paycheck and go on with the wedding?”
My grandfather paused, he laughed and finally put his hand out to shake Robbie’s realizing he saw a little of himself in the young lad for the first time. “You’re not too bad kid, welcome to the family. I’m keeping the 10k though.” Then my husband to-be did the smartest thing he could ever do upon sealing the deal with the hardest bargainer he’d ever have to face. He asked my grandfather to give him advice on getting older. All you have to do to get on my grandfather’s good side is make him feel like “Charlie potatoes” as he calls it, chum it up, compliment him on his youthful looks, and you got him in the palm of your hand. At this point Robbie was feeling pretty confident that he had won the old man over. To which, my grandfather looked squarely in the eye of the young groom and said “Rob, you know why I look this good at 75? Cause I don’t get heart attacks, I give ‘em. Let that be a warning.”
Congratulations Pop! Here’s to another 90 years! (Although he’s already informed me that after 100,he’ll be done. “No one belongs living that long. You gotta leave on a high note.”)
Ritchie, age 90.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Toronto Star
I received a very nice email from Susan Pigg at the Toronto Star, which is apparently a very popular newspaper in Canada. A newspaper, by the way, is a way people used to read the news... I'm kidding, but no matter how many articles and mentions I might get on various blogs and websites, my boys Frank and Abe don't understand or appreciate it unless they physically see it in their hands-- "Ohh... an article in a newspaper!" Susan has promised me that she's mailing me the article from the paper so I can show it to the fellas. For the rest of you, I'll post it here:
Sage Advice from the Everyday Wise
It all started with Frank and Abe, two octogenarians who had lived life and had lots to say about it.
When Los Angeles writer and actor Seth Menachem met the good friends, now 89 and 90 respectively, walking around his neighbourhood, he was determined to immortalize their words of wisdom — okay, maybe more their kibitzing and complaining.
Since Menachem, 36, created Life Advice from Old People, his salute to seniors in June 2009, he’s asked more than 90 older folks for their life advice, including actor Jon Voight.
“Maybe it’s because my dad died when I was young and my grandparents are no longer around . . . I just thought they had some good advice and I wanted to preserve it.”
With the exception of “be one of the good guys” Voight, who he happened to spot dropping off a friend in the Fairfax district where Menachem lives with his wife and two-month-old baby, these are just everyday folks.
Some of them are newcomers to the country who don’t even speak English — their children do it for them.
But their words are simple and heartfelt. And their faces practically light up as they speak, once they get over the shock of being stopped by a complete stranger with a flip camera (a birthday gift from Menachem’s unsuspecting sister.)
Recently Menachem posted his favourite life advice so far, some of the best of it from neighbour Molly Pier, 89, who became an AIDS activist late in life after losing her son:
“You know, we don’t have much choice in many, many things that happen in our lives. The only thing we have choice over is our attitude and how we accept things that happen and how we cope with them.
“And that’s what you have to learn . . . coping with the hard things in life and loving and appreciating the good things that happen.”
Susan Pigg focuses on issues about aging and baby boomers. spigg@thestar.ca
Sage Advice from the Everyday Wise
It all started with Frank and Abe, two octogenarians who had lived life and had lots to say about it.
When Los Angeles writer and actor Seth Menachem met the good friends, now 89 and 90 respectively, walking around his neighbourhood, he was determined to immortalize their words of wisdom — okay, maybe more their kibitzing and complaining.
Since Menachem, 36, created Life Advice from Old People, his salute to seniors in June 2009, he’s asked more than 90 older folks for their life advice, including actor Jon Voight.
“Maybe it’s because my dad died when I was young and my grandparents are no longer around . . . I just thought they had some good advice and I wanted to preserve it.”
With the exception of “be one of the good guys” Voight, who he happened to spot dropping off a friend in the Fairfax district where Menachem lives with his wife and two-month-old baby, these are just everyday folks.
Some of them are newcomers to the country who don’t even speak English — their children do it for them.
But their words are simple and heartfelt. And their faces practically light up as they speak, once they get over the shock of being stopped by a complete stranger with a flip camera (a birthday gift from Menachem’s unsuspecting sister.)
Recently Menachem posted his favourite life advice so far, some of the best of it from neighbour Molly Pier, 89, who became an AIDS activist late in life after losing her son:
“You know, we don’t have much choice in many, many things that happen in our lives. The only thing we have choice over is our attitude and how we accept things that happen and how we cope with them.
“And that’s what you have to learn . . . coping with the hard things in life and loving and appreciating the good things that happen.”
Susan Pigg focuses on issues about aging and baby boomers. spigg@thestar.ca
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Embrace Fear
A few friends had called me to say I should interview this guy, Al Scaglione. They’re friends with his daughter and after meeting him they decided he needed to be on the site. I don’t know if he gave them great advice or if they merely liked his stories, but I finally got the chance to meet Al and see for myself.
Al and I had been talking on Facebook--he added me as a friend and told me he was a fan of my blog and the Seth & Avi web series my friend and I write--but I never thought to get his number. He was twenty minutes late and I kept circling the area, looking for a guy who resembled his Facebook picture. I was worried that he was waiting in another area of the Grove, an outdoor mall in LA. Eventually he spotted me as he raced over, apologizing for the traffic.
Al has the gift of gab. He’s the kind of guy who needs no prompting to talk. And I was happy to listen. He told me success happens when you do nine million things at once so eventually you’ll be in the right place at the right time. He calls that luck. Later on I asked Al about some of the nine million things he’s done in his life. A short list:
Various jobs at an ad agency from the mailroom to contest director, paint salesman, pot and pan salesman, actor, opened the first frozen yogurt store in California, then went into fast food, then a few restaurants, he spent ten years as a Colibri salesman, he was a therapist (layman), he invested in real estate, wrote a book, and most recently invented a product he tells me “will make me a fortune.” I hope it does.
Al and I had been talking on Facebook--he added me as a friend and told me he was a fan of my blog and the Seth & Avi web series my friend and I write--but I never thought to get his number. He was twenty minutes late and I kept circling the area, looking for a guy who resembled his Facebook picture. I was worried that he was waiting in another area of the Grove, an outdoor mall in LA. Eventually he spotted me as he raced over, apologizing for the traffic.
Al has the gift of gab. He’s the kind of guy who needs no prompting to talk. And I was happy to listen. He told me success happens when you do nine million things at once so eventually you’ll be in the right place at the right time. He calls that luck. Later on I asked Al about some of the nine million things he’s done in his life. A short list:
Various jobs at an ad agency from the mailroom to contest director, paint salesman, pot and pan salesman, actor, opened the first frozen yogurt store in California, then went into fast food, then a few restaurants, he spent ten years as a Colibri salesman, he was a therapist (layman), he invested in real estate, wrote a book, and most recently invented a product he tells me “will make me a fortune.” I hope it does.
Friday, July 2, 2010
The Matza Family Reunion
I went to a family reunion last weekend. The Matza family are Greek Jews from the town of Iaonnina, the same town where my paternal grandfather’s family is from. They are called Romaniote Jews – different from the more well known Sephardic and Ashkenazi Jews. The Romaniote have been in Greece for over 2000 years. The Jews who came to Greece after the 1492 expulsion from Spain formed a separate Sephardic community. Where my family fits into either of these communities, I have no idea. I started a few Facebook groups to try to find relatives from my Greek side, as they’re such a minority within a minority and I know nothing about their background. I was raised a bagel and lox eating Ashkenazi Jew, sprinkling my English with the Yiddishisms from my maternal grandparents. My father died eighteen years ago, and since he lost touch with most of his Greek side, it got even harder to find them after he died.
But slowly, I’m meeting some relatives; and recently, Rhonda Matza found me on Facebook and invited me to her family reunion. Chances are, we’re not related. Though it's quite possible that our families in Greece married each other at some point as it seems like there wasn't a whole lot of Jews to choose from in Iaonnina. From what I hear, we have some cousins who married each other… thankfully, I wasn’t born with any noticeable genetic mutations. Everyone has a wagging tail at the end of their spinal column, right?
I met some great people at the reunion, and although we’re still piecing together the family tree on Geni.com, Rhonda introduced me as “adopted family” and made me feel welcome. I had delicious homemade baklava and they invited me to take part in the family reunion picture. My family never had reunions. I always thought it was so cool when I heard from friends who went to them. I’d love to put one together one day. But in the meantime my suggestion to all of you is start “family reunion crashing.” It's well worth it. And, if you go back far enough, aren't we all related at some point, anyway?
Barbara, age 92.
Sarah, age 91.
Orie and Evie, married for 44 years.
But slowly, I’m meeting some relatives; and recently, Rhonda Matza found me on Facebook and invited me to her family reunion. Chances are, we’re not related. Though it's quite possible that our families in Greece married each other at some point as it seems like there wasn't a whole lot of Jews to choose from in Iaonnina. From what I hear, we have some cousins who married each other… thankfully, I wasn’t born with any noticeable genetic mutations. Everyone has a wagging tail at the end of their spinal column, right?
I met some great people at the reunion, and although we’re still piecing together the family tree on Geni.com, Rhonda introduced me as “adopted family” and made me feel welcome. I had delicious homemade baklava and they invited me to take part in the family reunion picture. My family never had reunions. I always thought it was so cool when I heard from friends who went to them. I’d love to put one together one day. But in the meantime my suggestion to all of you is start “family reunion crashing.” It's well worth it. And, if you go back far enough, aren't we all related at some point, anyway?
Barbara, age 92.
Sarah, age 91.
Orie and Evie, married for 44 years.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
My Favorite Life Advice so far...
I've interviewed about 90 people so far and now that a year has passed it got me thinking about what has been my favorite advice. I didn't have the time to transcribe all of my interviews but I was looking them over and these five popped out at me. I grabbed the parts that I loved the most. You'll love them, too... unless you're missing a soul. Click on their names if you want to see the videos.
Mollie Pier - All I can tell you as a young person really just starting out in life is that things aren’t always wonderful. They’re not always perfect. But if you’re determined and you put yourself in a position where you let the world know who you are and what you are, somehow something will come home to roost. You know, we don’t have much choice in many, many things that happen in our lives. The only thing we have choice over is our attitude and how we accept things that happen and how we cope with them. And that’s what you have to learn is coping with the hard things in life and loving and appreciating the good things that happen.
Jimmy Steig - Just do the best you can, try the best you can, and be easy on yourself. Be very forgiving to yourself. Be a good person. The rest will take care of itself.
Jon Voight - Cherish the beautiful things you have, take care of your health and go forward and be a good guy – be one of the good guys. When it's all finished look back and say ‘I was one of the good guys’ - and then you'll be fine.
Roy Battocchio - Stay young. You’re going to age in years but I think you’re going to have to have an attitude of feeling young, acting young, thinking young… that to me [is] very important, and what keeps that going is a good sense of humor. I’ve always found that to be… [With perfect timing, Roy fakes a sneeze and surprises me by making it look like a golf ball came out of his nose] I just threw that in there. See, now that’s an old joke but I figured that would be nice. And that’s it. Keep that sense of humor all the time. It’s not easy but keep it.
Tom Waldeck – Don’t get old. No, keep moving. That’s the trick is keep doing new things and keep moving ‘cause you get plenty chance to rest when you’re dead. I made lots of mistakes, sure. That’s how you learn. You make mistakes. You hope that you survive the mistakes. You hope that you don’t hurt too many people by making the mistakes… I think everybody should go for everything in life all the time. And there shouldn’t be any difference of when you’re 65 or 75 or 25. That’s what you should do is just keep going for things. You know, as long as you’re healthy and you can do it, and you can afford what you want to do… sitting on a porch and reading a book for the rest of your life, you know really is a waste. It’s a waste of a life.
Mollie Pier - All I can tell you as a young person really just starting out in life is that things aren’t always wonderful. They’re not always perfect. But if you’re determined and you put yourself in a position where you let the world know who you are and what you are, somehow something will come home to roost. You know, we don’t have much choice in many, many things that happen in our lives. The only thing we have choice over is our attitude and how we accept things that happen and how we cope with them. And that’s what you have to learn is coping with the hard things in life and loving and appreciating the good things that happen.
Jimmy Steig - Just do the best you can, try the best you can, and be easy on yourself. Be very forgiving to yourself. Be a good person. The rest will take care of itself.
Jon Voight - Cherish the beautiful things you have, take care of your health and go forward and be a good guy – be one of the good guys. When it's all finished look back and say ‘I was one of the good guys’ - and then you'll be fine.
Roy Battocchio - Stay young. You’re going to age in years but I think you’re going to have to have an attitude of feeling young, acting young, thinking young… that to me [is] very important, and what keeps that going is a good sense of humor. I’ve always found that to be… [With perfect timing, Roy fakes a sneeze and surprises me by making it look like a golf ball came out of his nose] I just threw that in there. See, now that’s an old joke but I figured that would be nice. And that’s it. Keep that sense of humor all the time. It’s not easy but keep it.
Tom Waldeck – Don’t get old. No, keep moving. That’s the trick is keep doing new things and keep moving ‘cause you get plenty chance to rest when you’re dead. I made lots of mistakes, sure. That’s how you learn. You make mistakes. You hope that you survive the mistakes. You hope that you don’t hurt too many people by making the mistakes… I think everybody should go for everything in life all the time. And there shouldn’t be any difference of when you’re 65 or 75 or 25. That’s what you should do is just keep going for things. You know, as long as you’re healthy and you can do it, and you can afford what you want to do… sitting on a porch and reading a book for the rest of your life, you know really is a waste. It’s a waste of a life.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
If You Have Any Relatives in Sherman Oaks Hospital, You Better Take Them Somewhere Else.
A few days ago I realized that I’ve been working on this blog for a year. I contemplated shutting down the project. I accomplished what I wanted to—giving a voice to people who often get ignored, while also getting great advice from people who have lived on this earth many more years than I have. I have a child now and life’s gotten way more complicated for me. Trying to juggle my family, my art, and making a living—all on very little sleep—can be overwhelming. But whenever I think about ending this thing, I meet someone interesting, or someone will email me recommending that I interview a friend or relative of theirs who they think will be inspirational. So, I guess I’ll keep this going. I may not be able to be as devoted as I once was to it but there’s no reason to not keep it going as I’m sure I’ll meet plenty of great elderly people in my life who I’ll want to share with the world. I also ask that any of you followers of the blog feel free to email me your interviews and I’ll put them on the site. My email: lifeadvicefrom@gmail.com.
The video below isn’t typical of my “life advice” interviews. Charlie and Larry, homeless brothers, weren’t as interested in giving advice as they were in finding help and justice for what they perceive was unfair treatment of their 97-year-old mother, Bessie. You can see the LA Times piece on Bessie here.
Charlie and Larry’s mother died under the care of Sherman Oaks Hospital. Their description of what happened sounds like she was tortured but I find it a little hard to believe. There’s no doubt that hospitals make mistakes, but beating and torturing an elderly woman who was rushed the hospital for a stroke sounds a bit far fetched. I feel for their loss, though. And, if there was any wrong doing I hope they get the justice they deserve. But a big part of me is having difficulty with their story. They say that before Bessie died, the Laugh Factory held a fundraiser to get their mother off of the streets and “all they could raise was a lousy $4000.” Am I being insensitive or does that sound a bit ungrateful?
I’ve often seen these guys driving around in their truck, their plea for help written on the windows. So when I saw them parked, I approached them and asked them to tell me their story. But I guess after spending some time with them, something seems amiss to me. It’s possible I’m being cynical but so be it. I gave them a shot and I’m putting it online for anyone to see. Judge for yourselves. Maybe all they need is work. If you can offer them a job, they tell me they used to work as grips in the movie business. Despite my feelings, I still wish these guys the best of luck. I can’t imagine how hard it is to live life on the streets and even if I feel they’ve squandered opportunities, it seems like they truly loved and cared for their mother.
The video below isn’t typical of my “life advice” interviews. Charlie and Larry, homeless brothers, weren’t as interested in giving advice as they were in finding help and justice for what they perceive was unfair treatment of their 97-year-old mother, Bessie. You can see the LA Times piece on Bessie here.
Charlie and Larry’s mother died under the care of Sherman Oaks Hospital. Their description of what happened sounds like she was tortured but I find it a little hard to believe. There’s no doubt that hospitals make mistakes, but beating and torturing an elderly woman who was rushed the hospital for a stroke sounds a bit far fetched. I feel for their loss, though. And, if there was any wrong doing I hope they get the justice they deserve. But a big part of me is having difficulty with their story. They say that before Bessie died, the Laugh Factory held a fundraiser to get their mother off of the streets and “all they could raise was a lousy $4000.” Am I being insensitive or does that sound a bit ungrateful?
I’ve often seen these guys driving around in their truck, their plea for help written on the windows. So when I saw them parked, I approached them and asked them to tell me their story. But I guess after spending some time with them, something seems amiss to me. It’s possible I’m being cynical but so be it. I gave them a shot and I’m putting it online for anyone to see. Judge for yourselves. Maybe all they need is work. If you can offer them a job, they tell me they used to work as grips in the movie business. Despite my feelings, I still wish these guys the best of luck. I can’t imagine how hard it is to live life on the streets and even if I feel they’ve squandered opportunities, it seems like they truly loved and cared for their mother.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Be Very Tolerant and Patient of One Another
Relationships are hard--there’s no doubt about it. But despite their difficulties we all seem to cling to companionship. Maybe it’s our innate ability to fall in love. One of the harder parts of being a couple is the loss of freedom. I don’t just mean the freedom of running off to travel with friends, or staying out at a bar too late. I mean the freedom of being the quirky individuals we all are. Every one of us has these little things we do, which our significant other may have found cute at one point, but eventually can be really annoying to anyone other than ourselves. And, it’s during these times that David’s and Elisheva’s advice comes into play. The person we’ve chosen to spend the rest of our lives with is not a carbon copy of us. They think differently, react differently, and feel differently about things than we do. And the longer you’re with someone sometimes the more frustrating it can be when they don’t do something the exact same way that we do it. It’s a ridiculous expectation when you think about it, but when you’re in a relationship it tends to be one of those things you seem to keep arguing about. “I just don’t understand how you could (fill in the blank).”
When I first interviewed David, he asked me to film him separately from Elisheva. He’s a religious Jew, and therefore didn’t want to publicize the fact that he was “living in sin.” He joked about it, as he seems to do often, but he was clearly serious as he made sure that Elisheva was standing outside of frame. And then, while speaking to David on camera, he refers to Elisheva; she leans into frame and they throw their arms around each other. You can’t tolerate another person being different from you until you are comfortable with yourself. And it was as if David decided in that moment that he no longer cared what other people thought. He’s in love.
*Elisheva says, "it was a shidduch," when asked how they met. A shidduch is an arranged date for the purpose of marriage (common in ultra-Orthodox Judaism).
When I first interviewed David, he asked me to film him separately from Elisheva. He’s a religious Jew, and therefore didn’t want to publicize the fact that he was “living in sin.” He joked about it, as he seems to do often, but he was clearly serious as he made sure that Elisheva was standing outside of frame. And then, while speaking to David on camera, he refers to Elisheva; she leans into frame and they throw their arms around each other. You can’t tolerate another person being different from you until you are comfortable with yourself. And it was as if David decided in that moment that he no longer cared what other people thought. He’s in love.
*Elisheva says, "it was a shidduch," when asked how they met. A shidduch is an arranged date for the purpose of marriage (common in ultra-Orthodox Judaism).
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